Bump in the Road

This hasn’t been a good week. Partly because I’ve been frustrated with the lack of weight loss. It’s defeating to do everything exactly right and still not lose. I think I rebelled and thought if I’m going to gain anyway, might as well eat whatever I want. Stupid logic and completely untrue, but it’s how I felt. It was also partly because I’m going through some emotional stuff and simply didn’t have the emotional energy to devote to tracking every single thing I ate. Again, stupid logic but I just didn’t have the ability to focus all of my effort on weight loss this week. The bad thing is that I’m only hurting myself, which causes more emotional baggage and pain.

The guy, on the other hand, has done great dieting this week and has cut out breads and sugars. He’s part of the emotional crap I’ve been going through (the majority of it) and it honestly stung a little to see him doing something positive and me eating junk. It also brings up all my insecurities…not that they weren’t already present. I can’t help thinking when he talks about himself needing to lose weight if he isn’t thinking that I need to too. He’s been nice enough not to say anything, but I worry that it’s thought, just not spoken.

I’m hoping this week was just a bump in the road and that I can get back on track.  So far so good today.   I’m still an emotional mess, but I’m working through that as well.  Here’s to a better week…a better life.


~ by Mary Frances on February 7, 2010.

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