I’m Back

The month of February was pretty much a bust, but I’m back and better focused.  I feel gross and can feel the weight more lately.  I don’t like what I see in the mirror or in pictures, and I hate how I feel.  I’ve started taking Jillian Michaels Calorie Control pills.  I usually don’t like pills but I need a little help.  I’ve always compared myself to a drug addict or alcoholic…only food is my drug of choice.  It’s not so much what I eat, but how much.  I can’t stop eating even once I’m full, even miserably full.  I’m always looking forward to that next bite.  More focused on it than the current bite.  I can’t leave food on my plate…I feel compelled to clean it.  I continue to pick at my plate until everything is gone.  It’s an obsession and an addiction, and I need some help fighting it.  I’m taking 2 pills 15 minutes before lunch and dinner.  I started Sunday and have already dropped 2.6 lbs.  So, hopefully it’s working. 

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~ by Mary Frances on March 2, 2010.

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