Week of Insanity

So, as to be expected, as soon as I make a grand declaration that I’m going to do better and try harder, I lose my freakin’ mind.  This entire week has been too much food and too much drinking.  The bigger problem is that I’ve been snacking or wanting to snack the whole time. 

It started last Friday with drinks with friends.  They had tons of snacks.  I started with just a little and ended up shoveling in wine, cheese, bread, crackers, and even wasabi peas without even thinking.  Saturday was a birthday party with chips, dip, popcorn, chex mix, cookies, and of course cake and ice cream.  A migraine Sunday left me unable to eat for awhile and then ravenous when I was able to stomach food.  The insanity continued through the week.  If I wasn’t eating too much or snacking, I was thinking about what I wanted to eat.  I hate the obsessive thoughts, preoccupation with food, and the compulsion to eat.  It’s like I’m possessed and the last few months have learned nothing.

I did a little better eating today, but thoughts of food and the “need” to snack bombarded me all day.  It’s weeks like this past one that remind me how easy it is to fall back into old habits and how easy it would be to undue the past few months and gain every pound, plus some, back in no time.  It’s so much easier to add pounds than it is to lose them.  So not fair, but a reality that I have to face in order to stop the momentum of this week so this week doesn’t turn into a month of crazed eating and weight gain. 

To help, I’ve picked back up the book The End of Overeating by David A. Kessler, MD.  I started reading it awhile ago, but need to start over and really learn from it.


~ by Mary Frances on September 5, 2010.

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